But recently, everything started to feel overwhelming.
I felt like every time I yelled at my kids, I was creating a problem that they would suffer from as adults. I was told that I had a childhood trauma that I was passing on to them.
I also discovered the many types of moms. You have crisp, soft, helicopter, work, stay at home, Montessori – the list goes on.
I was riddled with guilt every time I turned on the TV or gave my fussy toddlers chicken nuggets for dinner because I didn’t want to be awake in the middle of the night with hungry stomachs.
I basically felt like a bad mother and analyzed every move I made. Talk about taking the fun out of it.
I had to constantly remind myself that I am a good mom doing her best. That I most often use advice, rather than a loud voice, to stop my kids in wrongdoing – but a loud voice is actually okay if necessary, and telling my kids is sometimes a normal part of parenting .
I show my kids that we all feel a wide range of emotions and that expressing them is okay – but not at the expense of someone’s feelings or safety. I apologize to my children when I need to and am open about how I feel and why.
So why was I allowing myself to feel like an awful parent? Social media – that’s why.
I had developed deep depression from the overexposure to information, and I needed to detox and learn to let go.
I ended up deleting all social media from my phone for a week. I didn’t know how long I wanted to do this, but the moment I reopened the apps, I was able to swipe past messages that I didn’t need at the time. It was so liberating.
We all know there can be too much of a good thing, and social media is precisely what made me question my value as a parent.